We all have a relative who makes Ebenezer Scrooge look positively cheerful at Christmas and it can cause lots of stress. We had a relative who was never happy with any gift and my Mum spent 30 years trying to get her a gift she would be pleased with. All gifts would get a smile, then be placed back into the half undone wrapping paper never to be seen again, they would either reside in the back bedroom, be given away or quite often, wrapped up and given back to us years later! She always wanted what others got, a good example was she used torches all the time and had a big fear of power cuts, she used little naff ones which didn't give much light so my parents brought her an expensive torch which had different settings including one which lights up the whole room. She moaned that a friend got a security light for Christmas and that would of been better, Dad lost his temper and said 'but there's a bloody lamppost outside your house, how much more light do you want'. In the end we finally gave up trying to please her with nice gifts and our lives became happier for it. We just gave socks, something food related, trousers identical to her normal ones, a pair of socks and ginger wine. Her last Christmas was spent in a nursing home with dementia, we gave her some biscuits and a box of tissues as she seemed to like pulling them out of a box.
Most of us want to please our grumpy relatives but if they are determined never to enjoy something then it's an impossible task that takes both time and enjoyment which could be better spent on enjoying Christmas. Why do we feel guilty though when it's the person who takes it upon themselves not to enjoy things?
In the end we finally cast our guilt aside, she doesn't want any main gift? Fine, just buy her a few things we know she needs. She doesn't want to join in the family activities? Fine, it's her choice, as long as you have invited then there's no reason to feel bad if they have chosen to isolate themselves. They just want a sandwich after looking at what your cooking? Fine, let them have a sandwich.
Cast your guilt aside and spend your time and energy on those who actively want to enjoy Christmas. After all, if someone doesn't care about it then it is just another day on the calendar.